I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
no, he came in my armpit
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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