yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Enjoy the penises
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
