You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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