You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
