Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
