and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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