he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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