We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize