I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
