Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
