Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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