Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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