Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
