I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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