there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
