Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
