I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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