well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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