that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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