Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
