The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
