If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
