you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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