Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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