I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
