i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what day is it and did you see me today?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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