Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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