tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
