Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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