Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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