make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
