96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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