so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
