Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
