my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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