By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
