Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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