This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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