Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
