I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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