Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
