we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
