I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
