your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
