I have demons in me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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