haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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