There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
