I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
