your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize