there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
