I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
