I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
