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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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