So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize