New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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