Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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