Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
