Tell her she can't have a vagina
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also, beer. Big fan.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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