She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
