She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
