Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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