I just pynch a tree in the face
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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