i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
