Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize