What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
