how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
