Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
