i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
