Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
