How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
