did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
