She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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