I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
