I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
