Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
