I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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