Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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