I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
