i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have feelings that need drinking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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